The Silent Struggle - Menopause
Menopause is a natural yet deeply personal transition in a menstruator’s life. Menopause occurs at the other end of the reproductive transition typically between the ages of 45 and 55. This is the stage when menstrual periods stop permanently marking the end of reproductive years. While it is a natural process of aging, menopause does not follow a one size fits all path. Women might experience premature menopause resulting from aftereffects of cancer treatments, surgical procedures like hysterectomy, and chronic pain or autoimmune conditions. Lifestyle, genetic factors, and diet can also play a role in primary ovarian insufficiency causing early arrival of menopause. For some transwomen undergoing hormone replacement therapy, menopausal symptoms may emerge, adding a layer to the complexity of their experience. But menopause is not a single moment. It is a process, a shift, and for many, a time for reflection and change.
If menopause is such a natural part of life, why do so many women struggle in isolation? From my personal and professional conversations, I’ve witnessed how deeply this stage is shaped by what Brene Brown identifies as the three pillars of shame: secrecy, judgment, and silence. Women often go through the pillar of secrecy when they hide their struggle with their changing hormonal symptoms. Hormonal changes during menopause can impact all areas of life including sleep, appetite, mood, memory, energy, and body image. Many women keep these struggles private, especially in workplaces where they fear being perceived as unstable or less capable experiencing the pillar of judgment. Even when they do speak up, their symptoms and experiences are often minimized with comments like “It’s normal” or “You’re just overthinking it,” including by medical professionals which can feel invalidating and isolating reinforcing the pillar of silence. This cultural minimization creates a sense of shame around a transition that deserves compassion, not dismissal.
It's time to change that. It’s time we name the shame, break the silence, and create space for honest and validating conversations around menopause at work, in relationships, and especially in healthcare. Because women deserve more than to suffer through a natural transition in the dark.